Hope in Hākinakina

For one Nelson woman, living with cancer has been the catalyst to create a women’s swimwear business to benefit others as well as fund her treatment. Through the experience, Sara Cohen has also learned to live more fully in the moment. As told to Britt Coker.

Four years ago, my life changed forever. I had just got married, launched my business and was probably the happiest I'd ever been. And then life threw me one of the biggest curve balls you can get. I was diagnosed with stage four cancer. There is no stage five.

I had primary cancer back in 2015 and went through major surgery, chemotherapy and radiation, and at that point it hadn't spread. There was always a chance, of course, it could come back. I had been in remission for five years until I started getting really bad back pain that wouldn't go away.

I think in the back of your head you get a niggling worry that it could be something more sinister. But of course, you want to hope that it is just normal back pain. I guess for me, it was frustrating because it took a very long time to be seen by a specialist.  After nine months of pain, osteo appointments and X rays, I finally persuaded the doctors that I wanted a bone scan. That was the first lesson that I learned, that I needed to trust my own judgment and direct my own health. I was told the cancer had come back and spread to my lungs and my bone, and I knew this time around it was different. There was no cure. I don’t think you’re ever prepared for a diagnosis like that.

Trust your instincts

Those first few months of diagnosis were probably the hardest of my life. I was terrified, bereft, anxious and grieving. I couldn't plan anything. I was too scared, and I was barely living.

I read somewhere that you get to choose between living and dying, and for me, there wasn't really a choice. I chose life. As my friends and family know, I can be pretty bloody minded, which I figure stood me in good stead. I have done everything I can to fight for my life and heal my body. I was 47 and not ready to go anywhere. I tried to see my cancer as a chronic illness I could live with for a long time, there's just too much to do. The first few months were spent reading and researching, trying to navigate my own way through it.

I've learned that patients who direct their own treatment have greater success. So for me, I've chosen an integrated approach. My focus has been very much on trying to keep well. I’m not going to lie, it's been a big, big job, but I'm doing incredibly well. I've been living with it, thriving for four years, still doing all the things I love – walking, skiing, kayaking, sup’ing. I've reduced my burden of cancer and have been stable since diagnosis.

I think everyone has different ways of approaching their treatment and different beliefs, so you just have to do what you think is right for you. I just armed myself with a lot of information and did lots of reading, and did what I thought was right for me.

One of the things for me that is really important, is that early diagnosis is key, and if anyone ever has a niggling doubt that there is something wrong that they should push to get seen, because I've heard so many stories about women who have been dismissed because they're too young or because it's unlikely. I think you always know if there's something that isn't quite right.

From pain to purpose

I spent 15 years working in advertising, doing business and marketing strategy, and then I started my first business when I was in London, I started teaching myself to design prints, and decided to launch a womenswear label as a vehicle for those prints. And I did that for five years until I found out I had breast cancer for the first time.

I came up with the idea of Hākinakina shortly after I finished treatment for cancer back in 2015. I was looking for cover-ups that would protect my radiation burns from the sun but came up short. All I could find was skimpy swimwear and unstylish cover-ups. And then I moved to New Zealand, and the time I spent on the water increased.

Living in a country with the highest rate of skin cancer I thought there was a gap in the market. So not one to shy away from a challenge. I decided, if I couldn't find it, I would create it. So Hākinakina was born. The range is designed for women who take their play and sports seriously and want the freedom to play without compromise. They want UPF 50+ sun protection, but want to look good wearing it too. They want to be able to relax, have fun, and do whatever they want without worrying about the sun.

[Its target market is] active women like myself, who are looking for full coverage, or love the prints, or are looking for sun protection, or just looking for active swimwear that gives them more coverage and flexibility. So it’s pretty diverse.

I love making beautiful swimwear that looks good, feels good, and protects you from the sun. Plus, by growing the business, it also acts as a financier to my treatment. So by supporting Hākinakina, people are also supporting my health. For me, it's important not to be defined just by my illness. My motivation is to thrive, to focus in the here and now and to fill my life with love and adventures and create something amazing as a legacy.

I've just passed the four-year mark of my stage four diagnosis, and that is a pretty huge thing for me. I think it's quite massive to live with it well for four years and I am immensely grateful still to be living my life so fully. I feel very fortunate, but then I've worked really hard to still be here. If I've learned anything, it's not to put anything off, to do the things, not to have any regrets, to stop sweating the small stuff. And as someone I used to follow and really respected said, have rebellious hope.